It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
