Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
