definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
