O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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