You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
