someone get that fucking seahorse.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
The air was thick with penises
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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