A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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