WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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