I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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