went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
