Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize