I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Randomize
