420 ftw
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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