WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
You're like the curious george of whores
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
