I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
