fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
