I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
