Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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