If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
