So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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