my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
whose ass print is on the piano?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
