A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
