On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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