So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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