Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
