census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
