hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
