I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
