hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
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