the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
