i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
i now understand why vodka
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
