So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Welp...herpes.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
