We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
