they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
