the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize