3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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