He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
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