It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
