Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Randomize
