just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
