pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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