we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Randomize
