He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
