RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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