u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
