wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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