Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize