like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
