I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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