Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
How drunk are you?
Completed.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
