Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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