My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
it hurts more in the daytime
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
