im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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