If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
