this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
