So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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