Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
