Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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