Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
