This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
