Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
